Sunday, March 28, 2010

Welcome to Holland

My new friend Kim sent this to me a few days ago. It truly spoke to my heart. Kim and I were connected by Dr. Haynes at Baptist. Kim's precious daughter, Mary Farris ,was only 1 lb 3 ounces at birth, and spent 148 days in the NICU. She also had over 6 surgeries. She is now 22 months and nothing short of spectacular! They are an awesome family and Kim is kind enough to be my "G tube buddy" teaching me the in's and out's of it all.

Let me also say this. We don't know exactly what the future may hold for Cohen. We do know we will appreciate EVERY milestone and moment as they happen. When I was pregnant, and even after Cohen was born, I never dreamed we would have been where we are today. Justin and I have learned so much already-and can't wait to see what else our little miracle will teach us!

Welcome To Holland


Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandt's.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.


  1. love the holland story and so very true. i am going to print out and put into her scrapbook. this could apply to so many things and i praise god that he has brought us all through these phases eventhough it was not what we had all planned on!


  2. I have read and shared this many times and the tears still flow as I read it again. So many people have supported and prayed for us, and I know you feel the same way. How something so tiny and precious brings so many people together. Thinking of you~